Letter To Younger Me



If I could say anything to 17 year old me, it would be this:

1. Don’t be so scared. Don’t waste your days worrying about the next day, next month, 5 years from now. Just do what you can with today. Be what you are right now, and work with it. You’re exactly in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. Trust your story, you’re going to be something wonderful one day, but also are something now. Work with that.

2. People are everything, take care of them and treat them like treasures that will be rarer and fewer with every passing year. I know you think this journey of yours is about making it on your own. That it's about proving that you can survive on your own, become on your own, live on your own. But you can both be fine on your own AND have people.
Don’t disappear into your solitude. Treasure people. They will give you stories, lessons, wisdom and growth. Let yourself be loved, and make people feel loved. That’s all there is.

3. Embrace the unknown.
Learn to turn fear of the unknown into excitement for what can happen.
When faced with uncertainty, with worry, a problem or simply change, you have two options:
To resist it, to fight it and do everything to keep things are they are. To let the worry control you and lose yourself to fear.
you can make the choice to greet it with open arms and an open mind. To say ”How exciting! What can this teach me? Where will this lead me?”
When you don’t know what’s going to happen: after college, at your new job, in a new country going after your dream .... everything can happen. Embrace uncertainty.

4. Spend time with all kinds of people, they will teach you all kinds of lessons and unravel all parts of your hidden personality. If you only spend time with like-minded people you’ll never expand your way of thinking.

5. Learn to let go.
People, seasons, cities and feelings will come and go. it’s the natural flow of life and nature, and you must be a part of it. Nothing is static and you don’t want to be, you want to learn to grow and flow with the seasons, being in constant movement. Learn to treasure what you what when you have it. When they leave you, learn to smile, say goodbye and move on being grateful that you now will go on being one experience richer.

6. Learn to live on as little as possible. 
You don’t know it yet, but there is a great challenge waiting for you the next couple of years. You will know no home, you will know no safety, no calm embrace to greet you every night, promising that things will be fine. You will not make money from your dream, you will not be able to afford a room of your own. You will learn to eat close to minimum. 
This lesson will be the greatest of them all. The less you need, the freer you are, and the happier you will be. When your need for material possessions or an overflow of money on the bank account is erased, you will learn to go inwards to find the same comfort and calm. You will learn that when you can find yourself stripped of all your material possessions, and still feel inspired and content, you will go on well, no matter what. 

Lastly, live a little.
Put your feet up. Laugh, loud, with strangers and friends. Take a night off. Go to the party and stay the night. Let someone kind walk you home, a warm summer night in July. Let him ask whatever he wants to ask. Don't be so guarded. Everyone's not out to get you.

Go to the cinema, read more books, visit museums. This mission of yours is really nothing else but an experience, a collection of moments and thoughts, feelings and lessons. There is no "making it". You will never feel finished. You will always want more. And that goal you think you're working towards... it will change. It will die out, and something new will appear in your head. You're always gonna search and reach for something. So while you're searching and reaching for it, don't forget to live.

Don’t waste it being tired and scared. Say yes, say no, think with you heart and go against the current. 
Life will be as wonderful as you make it, but it’s up to you to make it so. It’s on your side, you know? You just have to join it.



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drunk on someone else’s love,
or couch,
and I’ve never felt more at home.

I fled myself,
from the life I’ve built
because I’ve been inhabiting routines I don’t want to stand for.

Inhabiting skin I’d rather shed
but still took on
like a soldier serving his country,
for that’s what they told me to do.
But I was not
or wise,
but young and foolish,
for what is this thing? Trading passions for a tiny bit of acceptance,

and I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls
with clean blood
and organised drawers.
I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests
at night when no one else is alive,
or awake,
however you choose to see it,
and I live in my own flames.
Sometimes burning too bright and too wild
to make things last 
or handle
myself or anyone else
and so I run.
Run run run,
far and wide
until my bones ache and lungs split
and it feels good.
Hear that, people? It feels good,
because I am the slave and ruler of my own body
and I wish to do with it exactly as I please,
and living in this skin is hard and painful, most of the times,

because I never volunteered to take this on.

The daily sacrifice of heart over mind,
the forever on going task of explaining this and that,
and why I don’t want to look like this and
be like that
but still here I am and if this is the body I’ve been given I’m sure as hell gonna make it work.
If this is the place I’ve been given, I’m sure as hell gonna make this work.

So I fled the me that was never really me and I’m on my way. To newer lands and uncleaned streets
for I’ve had enough of childish safety in comfort.
Enough of all telling me to look and do, like this and that,

and I never meant to please anyone but myself
and you can call me selfish,
throw words like knives in the dark but I will not listen,
for not listening to sharp words brought me to where I am today
and I believe in the path I’ve been given. If my only task in this life is to walk it,
I surely will walk it
prouder than anyone else.

If this is the path I’ve been given, I will walk it
prouder than anyone else,
for no one else can.

// from my book You’re Doing Just Fine ☾

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